So Far

Shall I live alone when I grow old?

Sat in an armchair as I scowl in the cold
At a world changed beyond recognition
And yearn for days when I was bright and alert
And the pain in my heart did not hurt?

I’ll panic and moan as I sit on the throne
Picking at scabs of the cuts, wishing I’d had the guts
To let the world love and not drone
On about the times I have known
That now seem to have flown

Or will a new world bring purpose and zest
Not knowing what to choose for the best
As old bones rush through on a crest
Full of magical games to play?

I’ll have some of that if I may

There’ll be time for cooked breakfast every day
Not having to care what I weigh
Plenty of time to waste
Thinking of jobs not to my taste
No worry about being replaced

Reading books that will teach me to play
New games that lead grandchildren astray
We shall skip to the beach
Just as mum starts to preach
We’ll laugh as we scamper away

Time for childhood again
Perhaps I’ll jump on a plane
To lands faraway on a dream
There I’ll listen to voices
That tell me of choices

‘When I grow old I shall wear Purple’ by Jenny Joseph, is a well-known poem that I used as the inspiration for my own version.

It’s not easy to start a Blog about yourself, but the time is ripe, and so, increasingly, am I. The title is So Far because that’s the way it is: I’ve come So Far so far. There may be some way yet to go. Whatever the real reasons this is a chance to capture a few moments in my life that will, one day, give my grandchildren some idea of what I once was.

Over the years I’ve helped many people produce their own stories. Usually they have been factual accounts: I was born, I did this, and now I’m waiting to die. There’s a chance that this story will not be like that, it may follow the tradition of the essayist, a creature I’ve always admired. We don’t spend enough of our lives reflecting upon our lives, but hopefully in some places I will do just that, have a glancing look at the world we have created, and make some comment upon it. This is not a gospel text, it will not provide answers, nor is it intended to create a pathway that you can follow. After all, my life has not been one that anyone would wish to copy or revere. It’s been a struggle, but I’ve suffered nothing like the hardships faced by most of the world. This is a hard life for too many people, and it appears that we have lost our way.